"Distraught" does not even begin to cover it.
I am, however, happy to report that as I suspected, the guy can spell. Only one mistake was spotted by my keen eye, and I think I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a typo. Also one tiny punctuation issue. This reassures me, on the whole: he is human. Therefore he is real.
So, Brad, if you're out there, these are the questions I would have asked you. Apart from all the obvious ones, and all that.
- How can we convince you to join twitter?
- Which book are you currently reading, do you read several at a time, and which five books would you take with you to a desert island?
- Please will you write the screenplay for the book I am writing?
- You have a bunch of very devoted fans. Do you ever get freaked out by their adulation of you?
- How about coming to Europe to do a play?
- What is the one question you wish people asked you on these kinds of occasions?
- Do you ever Google yourself or do a Twitter search and find out what people are saying?
- When are you going to write a movie and give Josh Malina a really bad part?
- When can we have coffee?
And also, please, oh please, can you let me know when you next do one of these? Thank you.